Rose bud
Folded tight
Keeping out
Undesirable feelings
Rose bud
Signs of love
Caring, affection
Remains tightly folded
Rose bud
So precious
Vulnerable
Stays closed
Rose bud
Life here is good
It is safe to
Unlock your petals
Rose bud
Let the world in
Open your petals
To your fragile emotions
Rose bud
No reason not
To spread your petals
Enjoy life
Rose bud
You are valued
Unlock your petals
Reveal the beauty within
I like this metaphor, Debbie. Well done. And you just gave life back to this blog, too! Hurray!
ReplyDeleteDebbie,
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely. I really am attracted first of all to the repetition of each line. Rose bud sounds so nice as a pair of words, and it creates a cadence that works with it at this length. What color is this bud? What does it look like? Where is it?
My absolute favorite line in this poem is
"Rose bud/ life here is good" That makes me think of a plentiful place, and works on a lot of levels. Perhaps it is summer, or its maybe here in Iowa where the soil is dark and rich. I don't know yet, but as a reader I would like to know more about what that means. There are places here where the poem works towards abstract concepts like "Keeping out/ Undesirable feelings" What does that mean? Is there a way to show the rose bud doing that through imagery and sensory detail? If there is, it will make the idea that much stronger. The king of taking a small thing, like a rose bud, and creating meaning from it is Pablo Neruda. He does poems that are odes to things like tomatoes and socks. If you get a chance, he is worth a read. He is really great at using descriptive details to get at emotions and themes. Thanks for sending us this one Debbie! Its beautiful.
Anna