Are my thoughts spinning?
Am I up all night?
How do I know I'm doing well?
I've taken my medications every day for the last two weeks.
My mood has been stable.
I've gotten to my appointments and had to make bus arrangements for them.
I've stopped drinking coffee two weeks ago.
I drink tea as a caffeine substitute.
Despite having less caffeine I'm grateful for energy without a let down afterward.
I'm consistently having energy throughout the day.
Does my mind feel like it's going to explode?
Can I stay in bed throughout the night?
Do I have any symptoms ?
I like this second version better because the questions have more to do with mental health ... it hangs together better
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ruth. The second version seems more cohesive. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThe questions create an interesting confusion in the poem that maybe mirror the narrators actual state of mind. Questions like "Are my thoughts spinning?" and "am I up all night?" are things a person would normally know. The fact that this narrator is confused says interesting things about the obstacles he or she is trying to overcome. "How do I know I'm doing well?" is my favorite question, because the answer, far from being a yes or no answer is complex and loaded with possibilities. I agree that I like this version better, as it is more cohesive and seems to center around one general theme.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to trying to break a caffeine addiction and replacing it with tea! Its hard to do, but it's good to see this narrator succeeding in this poem, both by making healthy choices and through overcoming obstacles like making bus arrangements and appointments. This seems to be a happy poem in the midst of struggle and confusion. I really like that about it. Keep them coming, and thanks for sharing!