Nameless
Debbie Johnson
Sept 14, 2010
My name was chosen for me,
As an infant I had no choice.
My mother was spiritual and my Biblical name a chance to rejoice,
She hoped I would rise up and others would hear my voice.
The most common girl’s name of 1962, Debra,
But the Deborah spelling made me feel different and blue.
I felt since my name was biblical, I should be better than the rest,
Be perfectly honest and get an A on every test.
With the unusual spelling of my name, I felt like an outcast.
Much thought was given to changing my name once and for last,
To have my own identity and to leave the past..
I pondered a change to my middle name Ellen,
While not a biblical one should get me to heaven.
As I grew I began to realize how many girls my age were called Debbie.
I longed for my own name, not a variation of one that many girls had.
Although the choice of Deb, Debbie, Debby, Deborah and Debra helped some,
But folks aren’t careful when using these names
And I often don’t know if they are speaking of or about me
Or some other Debbie.
Most folks deal with the confusion by calling me Debbie J.
I guess for now I will keep it that way.
I notice you have an interesting thing going on with end rhymes. I'm going to leave other comments to professionals, except to say I think the second stanza needs some work. Maybe it's just that I don't quite understand the premise.
ReplyDeleteI could start calling you "Deborah Ellen," kind of like "Barbara Allen" in the old ballad. Or better yet, de-BOR-ah (to rhyme with menorah.) Very biblical. Get you to heaven for sure.
It's true Deborah (the way it was usually spelled where I grew up) peaked around 1960 and now isn't common with kids. My name Ruth peaked way, way back; by 1960 it was almost gone. I feel like I'm one of the last Ruths left, a relic.
Ruth, My mother always told me my name was biblical. She even mentioned it last week! I was always held to very high standards, grades honesty etc that my sister was not held to. If I got an A-, it was bad. If she got a C+ it was good. When I was young I guess my name was a way to explain the difference when I was young. Now itI realize it had more to do with my birth order and that my sister had health problems early in her life. I spent most of my grade school years wanting to change my name-sometimes I still do. I will work on the second stanza. The rhyming was really accidental> Most of the lines did rhyme so I changed a couple of words to make the rest rhyme. For now keep it Debbie or Debbie J. Thanks for your comments.
ReplyDeleteDebbie,
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting subject. I think we can all relate to having a very strong relationship to our names, for better or worse. This poem seems like a memoir. I wonder if this isn't an essay rather than a poem. The poem seems to constrict all the information you want to provide, and maybe even misdirecting it in order to get it to rhyme. I love the info you included in your comment. It has a strong voice, and more natural sentence constructions. Also, when I read your comment, my question about why your family expected better grades from you because of your biblical name was answered. It seems that your family history is in fact deeper and more complicated. That is great material for a story. Consider expanding this, and maybe trying a memoir format. At the very least, it will help you clarify what information you want in your poem.
I like the first line. Its great.
ReplyDelete